Make It Fun

     Tonight's Sunday Segment is something that I have been thinking about for quite some time and then out of no where this afternoon read another blog post in reference to the same idea. To me that was a sign that it was time to write about this topic. So here goes.
     As most of you who know me know I have struggled with my weight almost all of my adult life. I've never been obese (unless you count a brief period of time right after giving birth to Linsey) but always could have used to lose a few pounds.
     After Linsey was born I was so disgusted with my body and had issues with my self confidence for a few years. I became very strict with my diet and would work out religously, but didn't enjoy any of it. It's only been recently that I have understood that the reason I struggled for so long was because it wasn't fun. I limited myself so greatly that I didn't enjoy my food. I was doing work outs that I hated because I thought they would help me lose weight fast, but after a while I quit doing them. In the long run it didn't matter how many calories I was burning if in a week I wouldn't be doing that routine anyway.
     Still I was able to get in decent shape, but then my mind set began to change about a year ago. I don't know what caused the switch to be honest. Maybe it was the fact that my life had spun out of control and I realized that there are no gaurantees in life or maybe it was turning 30 or maybe it was a combination of everything going on in my life. Whatever it was I realized that none of it mattered. Not being thin, not doing the 'right' work out, not eating the 'right' foods, not fitting into the size 2 jeans, not having a flat stomach. None of it mattered if I wasn't happy. If I wasn't enjoying myself who cares how much or how little I weighed. If I wasn't enjoying the foods I was eating how could I possibly expect to keep eating that way forever to STAY in the size 2 jeans.
     Yes I weigh around 115lbs. Yes I wear a size 2 jean. Yes I'm a vegetarian. Yes I work out 5-6 times a week. But I'm able to do those things because I make sure that I enjoy it. If I want a Candy Cane Joe Joe cookie - fine. I will eat a Candy Cane Joe Joe cookie, but I won't eat the entire box. If I want to have a second helping of dinner (which I did tonight) I will, but I make sure that I drink an entire glass of water and wait a few minutes before getting it so that I am certain that's what I really want. When I run at 6:00 in the morning I'm up because I want to be and I'm blasting my favorite songs from my ipod while I'm doing it, but if I don't feel like doing it one morning I won't. As long as that doesn't happen all the time there is nothing wrong with it.
     I also realize that I have to say yes to my girls more and no to the dirty dishes. Those dirty dishes will still be there after a game of scrabble or a trip to the park, but my girls will only be little once. If I don't enjoy them NOW I won't get a second chance to enjoy them LATER. Right now is the only thing that is gauranteed and I plan to live in every one of my 'right now' moments.
     I used to feel guilty about getting a baby sitter. I used to skip going out with Jason and want to bring the girls with us or just do things at home. I even felt guilty about leaving the girls with my mother so that Jason and I could go out. I realized that is ridiculous! I have stopped feeling guilty for taking a 'date night' with Jason. We need that time just the two of us as much as we need to spend real time with our girls. If we maintain a happy and healthy relationship with each other we will continue to be better parents for the girls. I know now that being a good wife is just as important as being a good mother. When the girls grow up and move away I'm still going to be married to Jason (hopefully :) ) and we will need to have things in common. We will still need to ENJOY each other.
     I'm not perfect by any means. I still yell too much and make promises that end up getting broken and stress over money and snap at Jason and tell my girls that I will play 'as soon as I finish this', but I realize that it happens and I make a conscious effort to apologize when I've yelled, make the time to play the games or take the trip to the park. When that doesn't happen I don't beat myself about it. I go on and do better next time. Life is a learning experience. My girls are great kids and I'm a great mother and we enjoy life with each other every day, just not always every moment.
     But I make sure we are always TRYING to make it fun!